My Story, could well be yours.
Life is a journey, where people become what they listen to! So be careful what you hear! For the choices you make are in the end life or death!
I was found by our creator, like an unwashed baby, lying in my blood. In reality, I was a teenager, already broken, lost, addicted, deceiving and very alone. I was prone to depression and felt a lot of anxiety. In my first year of university study, with Psychology as a major, I diagnosed myself with free-floating anxiety. The road to recovery began as a teenager when I discovered that God loved and died for the unlovely. I threw myself on Him and was immediately amazed and blessed. My guilt was gone! There was nothing and no one I preferred to listen to. We danced together, for He was my first love.
It was not long however before I took it all for granted and the gifts he gave, I turned into temptation, drawing at my hungry, fallen flesh. I was saved, but carnal. Saved, but unsatisfied. I discovered that he, my God, was a jealous God. A Father, who was interested in my character and was not prepared to let me live like a hypocrite. He would eventually spit me out of his mouth, even let me be trampled by the idols of my life. I was full of spots and blemishes. I was a bride who had fallen in the mud. I had slipped from my first love.
One day he spoke to me, not directly but through an unknown tongue and interpretation, in a gathering of believers. I was born again, He said. Sincere, He said. Doing my best, He said. But it was not good enough, He said. It troubled me, for I felt sure it was the voice of my lover. The lover of my soul. You will have to explain, I said, for I did not understand. I learned more. His righteousness was a gift. If I repented of sin, he really did forgive me, just like the first time. I could get up, without spot or blemish and walk in the light, in righteousness again. It was awesome. I felt like I had been born again, again. I had re-found my first love.
He, my God, began to use me again. My enemy, my own weaknesses relentlessly found and attacked me. My idols spoke to me, again and again. Even those idols, that I had foolishly begged God for. I blamed my idols, failing to see, that my greatest enemy, was my own duality. I was overcome. In desperation, I lifted my helpless hand from the deep waters. His mighty hand drew me up to himself. Humbled, I looked up, determined to be a better listener and obedient. Are you ready now to be my bride, I heard him say? With all my heart, I want to be, I said. I really knew, as at first, that I had nothing to offer Him, but my brokenness and shame. I was growing in hunger for His righteousness, that he had positionally placed in me again. I knew it had to be more than positional righteousness though. I wanted his nature. There is no shadow in our creator. I will now take you to my Highway of Holiness, He said, whereby, even a fool will not go astray. I have since learned to love his commandments more and more. I know that He, within me, is the only keeper of them. He is the love of my life. I am learning to let Him live through me.
Do I fail?
Sure. But, by faith, I get up and practice His righteousness. I get up, to love and obey His commandments, even as I am loved and shown mercy. I am like a bride awaiting the return of the bridegroom. I want to be ready for the wedding feast and the candle burns in my window. I want to be about His business, until he comes.
I encourage you not to wait another moment. Give your life to Yehushua, (YHVH SAVES is the meaning of his name). If you do not think you need saving, you just have not lived long enough yet. If you have lived a bad life and feel you are no good for God, I can assure you that he will forgive you. I says: "Come let us reason together, though your sins are as scarlet, you shall be white as wool."
Justice will prevail, even if it is only after you die. Those who give themselves over to His gift of salvation will not face the second death. Those who fail to will certainly face it.
For most suffering starts this side of the grave. God, who wants to be a Father to those who receive him. He really is mighty to save and he will save you. He says that if you continue in His word, you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.
This journey starts as a narrow door. The proud are unable to enter through it. You must humble yourself, agree that you are a sinner and be willing to exchange your own control over your life, (indeed your life itself) for his life and make Him your King. If you are willing to do this you will be born again of his Spirit. His spirit begins as a righteous seed in you. He will ensure over the years that the seed grows, like leaven in a lump, provided you give it fertile ground to grow in. Read His Word, the Bible, and talk to him about it, about anything else you want to. In the end, you will see that he will reveal himself to you and as you learn to keep his commandments you will get to know Him. If you try to take your life back, he will allow pain, but the rewards are when you SHEMA. That word, in Hebrew means, to LISTEN and OBEY! You have to let him change you. "There is no rest for the wicked". No satisfaction either, for lust is never satisfied. All it does is divide you. But, if you do give yourself over, life will not only turn you away from becoming bitter and divided, it will make you better and whole, resulting in a satisfied, abundant life of joy, peace, and righteousness. This kind of life has an eternal reward, just as sin, will reap eternal corruption and destruction.
Finally, without him I have no gifts and nothing to offer you. But I hope you will find song on this site that will help you in your journey.
Musically this site covers a lifetime of songwriting. It is the gift he gave me at the very beginning of my journey with him. The good, the bad and the ugly are all here, but I encourage you to focus on that which will uplift your life. May you find His voice here.
If you abide in Him and He in you, you shall ask what you desire and it shall be done for you and if you continue in His Word, you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
A prayer I hope you will pray...
I surrender to you today.
You are the alpha and the omega,
the author and finisher of my faith.
May your kingdom come.
May your will be done,
in and through us,
as it is in heaven
Give me this day the forgiveness of sin I need
As I forgive those now that have sinned against me.
Thick darkness is upon the peoples,
But may You arise upon me.
Fill me with your Holy Set-Apart Spirit
That I may have abundant life.
Then, I will take it to the nations.
For, your light, which is love, must not be hidden.
And may kings come to the brightness of our rising.
SHEMA OH ISRAEL
(Shema, is a Hebrew word, meaning to hear and obey. It results in Shalom)