My Story, could well be yours.
Life is a journey, where people become what they listen to. You either become bitter or better and the rewards are for the latter. I feel peace joy again today, because circumstance does not have victory over me anymore, but that was certainly not always the case. Give your life to Jesus / Yeshua, (Yehovah SAVES is the meaning of his name). "He is mighty to save". And he will save you. He says that If you continue in His word, you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.
IT IS A JOURNEY WITH A NARROW BEGINNING, AND HE WILL ALLOW PAIN IF YOU DO NOT LISTEN, BUT IT HAS AN AMAZING END. You have to let him change you, because "there is no rest for the wicked".
I was found by our creator, like an unwashed baby, lying in my blood. In reality, I was a teenager, already broken, lost, addicted, deceiving and alone. I was prone to depression and felt a lot of anxiety, so that in first year Psychology, I diagnosed myself with free floating anxiety. The road to recovery began as a teenager, when I discovered that God loved and died for the unlovely. I threw myself on Him and was immediately amazed and blessed. My guilt was gone! There was nothing and no-one I preferred to listen to. We danced together, for He was my first love.
It was not long however, before I took it all for granted and the gifts he gave, I turned into temptation, drawing at my hungry, fallen flesh. I was saved, but carnal. Saved, but unsatisfied. I discovered that he, my God, was a jealous God. A Father, who was interested in my character and was not prepared to let me live like a hypocrite. He would eventually spit me out of his mouth, even let me be trampled by the idols of my life. I was full of spots and blemishes. I was a bride who had fallen in the mud. I had slipped from my first love.
One day he spoke to me, not directly but through a unknown tongue and interpretation, in a gathering of believers. I was born again, He said. Sincere, He said. Doing my best, He said. But it was not good enough, He said. It troubled me, for I felt sure it was the voice of my lover. The lover of my soul. You will have to explain, I said, for I did not understand. So He lead me. I learned more. His righteousness was a gift. If I repented of sin, he really did forgive me, just like the first time. I could get up, without spot or blemish and walk in righteousness again. It was awesome. I felt like I had been born again, again. I had re-found my first love.
He, my God, began to use me again. My enemy searched my weaknesses and relentlessly attacked. My idols spoke to me, again and again. Even those idols, that I had foolishly begged God for. I blamed my idols, failing to see, that my greatest enemy, was my own duality. I was overcome. In desperation, I lifted my helpless hand from the deep waters. His mighty hand drew me up to himself. Humbled, I looked up, determined to be a better listener and obedient. Are you ready now to be my my bride, I heard him say? With all my heart, I want to be, I said. I really knew, as at first, that I had nothing to offer Him, but my brokenness and shame. I was growing in hunger for His righteousness, that he had positionally placed in me again. I knew it had to be more than positional righteousness though. I wanted his nature.
I will now take you to my Highway of Holiness, He said, whereby, even a fool will not go astray.
I have since learned to love his commandments. I know that He, within me, is the only keeper of them. He is the love of my life. I am learning to let Him live through me.
Do I fail?
Sure. But, by faith, I get up and practice His righteousness. I get up, to love and obey His commandments. I am like a bride awaiting the return of the bridegroom. I want to be ready for the wedding feast and the candle burns in my window. I want to be about His business, until he comes.
Without him I have no gifts and nothing to offer you.
Musically this site covers a lifetime of songwriting. It is the gift he gave me at the very beginning of my journey with him. The good, the bad and the ugly are all here. So now I hope you will find, somehow through it all, His voice.
For if you abide in Him and He in you, you shall ask what you desire and it shall be done for you and if you continue in His word, you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
I hope that you may say this simple prayer with me:
We surrender to you today.
You are the alpha and the omega,
the author and finisher of our faith.
May your kingdom come.
May your will be done,
in and through us,
as it is in heaven
As your words says,
thick darkness is upon the peoples,
but, as your prophet Isaiah says,
May You arise upon us.
May the nations come to our light
for if we have any light, it is yours.
And may kings come to the brightness of our rising.
SHEMA OH ISRAEL
(Shema, is a Hebrew word, meaning to hear and obey. It results in Shalom)